Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder. Fact or fiction?
Whenever the long-distance relationship arises, the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” will always be mentioned. Is it always true, or just words to soothe our fears when it comes to living apart from each other?
Having a long-distance relationship is not uncommon at all. Not everyone is blessed with the opportunity to live nearby or together in the same place. No matter how well planned our lives are, there are times life itself can get in the way.
Maybe you fall in love with someone you met online, but they live miles away from you. Perhaps you are, or you have a military spouse who is deployed in another country. Or maybe you finally get your dream job, but the catch is you have to move miles away from your loved one. Whatever the case is, the life that you know has changed and will never be the same.
Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?
For ages, people have debated whether “absence makes the heart grow fonder” or not. Some believe that the time away from each other is good as it helps create a longing for our loved ones. However, some are not really convinced. In fact, some find living apart very challenging at times.
Plenty of research regarding the subject of a long-distance relationship shows results that actually support the notion that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Some researchers say that humans are designed to seek and strive continuously. Consequently, we often feel a heightened sense of “longing and appreciation” when our partner is not around. It is only human to pay more attention to things that we don’t have compared to what we do have. So separation does help remind us of why we fell in love with our partner in the first place and be more appreciative towards them.
Some researchers have also pointed out that long-distance couples do have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other daily. When couples live far apart, every little thing will remind them of each other – the smell, the sound of the laughter, the texture of the skin, the song choice, and much more. The feeling of missing them and the longingness they have for each other can lead to higher levels of intimacy.
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Origin and Popularity
Although this saying has spread mostly from word of mouth, few know its real origin. The earliest version of the phrase was put into writing 2000 years ago by the Roman poet Sextus Propertius. In his poem, he included an early version of the adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” to describe the longing feeling that we have when separated. Over the years, this phrase is used to reassure people that distance doesn’t have to affect their relationship.
The phrase was further elaborated in Davidson’s poem. He compared the question of whether it’s a matter of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “out of sight out of mind.” It also was published in the Poetical Rhapsody, which was written by Davidson in the year 1602.
We are now living in a diverse technological world full of new trends. Absence makes the heart grow fonder memes have become quite popular. Although, the Covid-19 pandemic has made this meme both ubiquitous and tragically painful for multitudes of people. Remembering the goodness of your love can actually help you manage your loss.
What Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder Mean?
Lovers get to experience the reality of absence makes the heart grow fonder quotes, especially in distanced relationships. If the connection is a short distance, communication can be much more frequent. However, if the relationship is long-distance, more time and effort are required. The longer the separation, the greater the need for intimate contact.
Distance gives you an incentive to love each other through some kind of contact. The absence of communication can cool those fond, warm feelings. Staying connected keeps the home fires burning. It actually can become sweeter to lovers. When I was distanced from my lover, I was always anxious to hear his call. And, every day that passed without personal contact made me more aware of the distance between us.
When the love of my love left for another country, I felt weak. His absence made my heart grow fonder. However, it also gave me more reasons to love him more. I realized his impact on my life. So it can be beneficial to the couples who share true love.
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Meaning. How to nurture a long-distance love.
How to nurture love in a long-distance relationship?
Just like any type of relationship, the love in the long-distance relationship needs to be nurtured. Or else, it can lose its meaning, even die. All kinds of relationships take effort. A long-distance relationship takes even more. If you are geographically separated from your partner, here are some strategies that you can use to help to strengthen the bond in your relationship.
Connect with each other.
With the advent of new technology, a long-distance relationship is somewhat more manageable than it used to be. Technological advancement is indeed a great help to long-distance couples. Gone are the days when people had to wait for days to exchange news via mail.
Nowadays, there are plenty of communication tools that couples can use to connect with each other. The interaction also can be done simultaneously without any time gap in between. So there is no excuse for the couples not to stay in contact with each other. What remains is the couples’ effort to make sure that the love for each other continues growing.
Allocate some time in your day to connect with your loved one. There is no limit to how much time it will take. Perhaps calling them before sleeping to recap what’s going on with your life. If the time is limited or there is a difference in time zone. There’s always another way you send a text to each other or maybe flower and gift deliveries to brighten up their days.
Be open to your partner.
Be truthful, and don’t hide things from your partner. Living apart is hard enough. It will get even more challenging if you don’t tell them what is going on. Sometimes you just don’t want to make them worry. But it is essential for your partner to feel that his/her presence is needed. They need to feel like they are an indispensable part of your life. The more you share your feelings intimately and non-threateningly with your partner, the stronger the attachment you have with each other.
Go on holiday and travel together.
Since both of you live far from each other, there’s not much time for you to do things together. Might as well utilize the limited time you have each other by creating beautiful memories. Going on holiday and travel together is one of the ways to make those memories.
Planning things together helps in building anticipation and increases the level of intimacy. Going someplace where neither you nor your partner lives your mundane daily routines helps create a sense of adventure that makes the trip even more special. Traveling to unknown places helps means you and your partner have to rely on each other and explore things together.
Don’t assign blame.
There are times when life gets too challenging to handle. It is natural to be angry and resentful towards your partner, especially when you feel like you are the only one receiving the short end of the stick. Perhaps, you have children together. And with your partner far from you, now the sole responsibility of caring for the children falls solely on you.
However, it is not easy for your partner too. They can feel guilty having to stay far away from you. Try to find a reason to let go of the anger and be more understanding. No one wants to leave behind what they love. But sacrifices need to be made in exchange for a perhaps better life in the future. So, be forgiving and try to support each other.
Make the right choice.
When you feel like your relationship is not as strong as you hope it to be. It is always important to remember why you chose to be in a relationship with your partner. If living apart is such a deal-breaker, perhaps it is best to walk away from the beginning. But if you love your partner and are committed enough to go along with the relationship, efforts must be made. Either absence makes the heart grow fonder or out of sight out of mind. In the end, it is up to you to decide which saying best describes your love life.